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#776 + (0) - [X]
<Lord_Angelus> take the anakin approach to dealing with children
<Lord_Angelus> i probably would have done today if i had known who was responsible
<Lord_Angelus> i walked into a public toilet, quickly turned around and left when i saw that a child had decided to do some decorating
<•siasmj> you say child, I say prime minister
#775 + (0) - [X]
<@Buran> I thought I was being a bitch this morning until I walked over to my thermometer and it read 57 inside
<@siasmj> At which point your thoughts were confirmed
<@siasmj> The thermometer read, “youre being a bitch”
#774 + (0) - [X]
(21:48:09) <@Buran> I finally have my stand up desk setup with my PC.
(22:09:35) <@spoopuf> 🆒️
(22:15:52) <@yurkey> 🆗
(22:26:04) <@Buran> thanks
#773 + (0) - [X]
<@Lord_Angelus> empty casket
#772 + (0) - [X]
<@Lord_Angelus> why does everyone assume i only play star wars games?
#771 + (0) - [X]
<@Matt> what is the name for an organism that is basically just a mouth and an anus?
<@commy> George R. R. Martin
#770 + (-1) - [X]
<@spoopuf> its full of bayonettas up comboing him to the fucking nether
#769 + (1) - [X]
<@Matt> What is the largest mammal you think you could knock out with a single punch?
<@commy> George R. R. Martin
#768 + (0) - [X]
<@spoopuf> no regerts
#767 + (1) - [X]
<@Matt> Ivar the Boneless, Son of Reptar
<@Matt> whats a dinosaur to do when theres kids on the ice?
<@Matt> "maybe theyll fuck up and play a hockey game" - grandpa
#766 + (-8) - [X]
<@commy> oh glove, I wasnt ready for all the shit
#765 + (1) - [X]
<@Buran> Near the end of angels and demons, what was the name of the technique where a victim is rape and her throat is slit when the rapist orgasms?
<+Lord_Angelus> standard procedure
<@Buran> standard operating procedure
<@lasagna> the Adama maneuver
#764 + (0) - [X]
<@spoopuf> no regerts
#763 + (0) - [X]
<@spoopuf> didn't even notice, I'm such an abortion of a fuckup
#762 + (9) - [X]
<landsteiner> There was a Latino in my brother
#761 + (0) - [X]
<@Lord_Angelus> No Mans Sky will have coop in todays update
<@spoopuf> Watch me cum 14 times in 24 min
#760 + (0) - [X]
<@Matty> who do you think would win a watermelon eating contest: me or Syndic?
<@spoopuf> the watermelon being eaten
#759 + (1) - [X]
<@landsteiner> It'll be Clementine as Scully and an actual Fox as Moulder
#758 + (0) - [X]
<@commy> you son of a bitch
<@Buran> thanks
#757 + (-9) - [X]
<@siasmj> I wank Kevin Spacy to lay on top of me gayly
#756 + (1) - [X]
<@Matty> it took me three days, but I got the job done
#755 + (-3) - [X]
<@Buran> is there anything I can do for you for you not to comtemplate suicide?
<@Matt> kill me, I suppose
#754 + (-1) - [X]
<@Buran> women are stupid and I don't respect them
#753 + (10) - [X]
<@spoopuf> self care is laying in the mud waiting for the vultures to claim you
#752 + (0) - [X]
<@Matt> I was named after a gospel
<@lasagna> The Gospel according to Doomhammer
#751 + (0) - [X]
<+Serenad> Matt Horn!
#750 + (1) - [X]
<@commy> !harry
<@Kerrang> Hello?
<@commy> !harry
<@Kerrang> The end.
<@commy> well
#749 + (3) - [X]
<@spoopuf> thats a fat fat guy
<@spoopuf> is he alright
#748 + (-3) - [X]
<@lasagna_> I rolled a fat gungan and took the high ground to bed
#747 + (2) - [X]
<@Buran> god, I am so hung
#746 + (0) - [X]
<@spoopuf> which ninja turtle painted the Sistine chapel
<@commy> Casey Jones
<@siasmj> Casey Anthony
<@spoopuf> Casio Calculator
#745 + (3) - [X]
<@commy> !harry
<@Kerrang> 'Hello?'
<@commy> !harry
<@Kerrang> The end.
<@commy> well
#744 + (9) - [X]
<@siasmj> Yeah, I dont know why chanserv looses its bowels on the horse Chana
#743 + (-1) - [X]
<@Matty> thank god, Tylers watching Seinfeld instead of Big Bang Theory today
<@commy> I finally like him more than I like you
<@Matty> took you longer than it takes most people
#742 + (-1) - [X]
<@Matt> that beast at the pod race that farts in Jar Jars face
<@commy> Qui-Gon?
#741 + (3) - [X]
<<@spoopuf> also there was a huge case in finland some time ago in which a male nurse had used alzheimer patients who don't know shit anymore to jerk him off and stuff
<<@commy> Im fine with being used for whatever as a vegetable
<<@commy> putting it out there on the record
<<@landsteiner> becoming a plastic fuck doll
<<@spoopuf> why would he turn plastic
#740 + (1) - [X]
<@Buran> context?
<@commy> I want to sit side by side with her, sharing a large headphone, listening to an ASMR of you repairing cars, while Mike Stoklasa jerks us both off
#739 + (-8) - [X]
<@Matt> Im in the "on call" rotation and got "paged" at 5AM today
<@Matt> dont worry, UWEC, I fixed the problem with a system none of you use before "start of business" at 7:30
<@Matt> YOURE FUCKING WELCOME
<@Matt> YOU ASSHOLES
<@Matt> just kidding, the director of admissions uses it because shes a bitch and refuses to use the new interface like the rest of the staff
<@Matt> YOURE BENT OVER THE ALTER AND THE NEIGHBORS ARE COMPLAINING THAT THE MISANTHROPES NEXT DOOR ARE PROBABLY CONCEIVING A DAMIEN
<@Matt> DONT THEY SEE THE DARKNESS RISING GOOD LUCK FINGERING OBLIVION WERE GETTING OUT NOW WHILE WE CAN YOURE WELCOME BOYS HAVE THE LAST OF THE SMOKES AND CHICKEN JUST ONE CADILLAC WILL DO TO GET US OUT TO WHERE WERE GOING IVE BROUGHT MY MOTHERS DEPRESSION YOUVE GOT YOUR FATHERS SCORN AND A WAYWARD AUNTS SCHIZOPHRENIA
<@Matt> BUT EVERYTHING IS FINE DONT GIVE IN TO DISPAIR BECAUSE I LOVE YOU HONEYBEAR
* @Matt wraps the timing belt around his neck
<@spoopuf> 7-9 - Most of my recent games are digital
#738 + (2) - [X]
<Matt> lay your hands on me and pray out the demon
* lasagna rolls up his sleeves
* Buran lays his hands on Matt and speaks the name "Felicity Rose Hadley Jones"
* Matt squaks a demon out of his poop chute
<lasagna> I got a really creepy vibe when you said her fullname
<lasagna> now I have an erection to take care of
#737 + (1) - [X]
<@Matt> would you snarl out a fuck at me before killing me?
<@Matt> or would you let me die with a fuck unsnarled?
#736 + (2) - [X]
<@Matt> would you grab her by the hair and yank her head back while pissing onto her grated teeth from point-blank range?
<@lasagna> I mean, probably not
#735 + (11) - [X]
<@Matt> I just wish to understand why it happens early for me
#734 + (0) - [X]
<@Darth_Angelus> i wish shortround had force pushed the bitch into vdjs lava pit
#733 + (-2) - [X]
<Matt> OS: Microsoft Windows 10 Education
<Darth_Angelus> we dont need no windows 10 education
<Matt> hey, Microsoft, leave those computers alone
#732 + (0) - [X]
<commy> are alligators like, simply assholes?
<commy> why did it drown the kid but not eat it?
<Matt> Ive never been able to decipher the minds of alligators
#731 + (0) - [X]
<@lasagna> speaking of shadows, there was a black lady who took over the mail route for my block for a few weeks, and things were beautiful
<@lasagna> but she must have just been covering for him taking vacation time or something, because the shitty chink mailman is back as usual :(
<@lasagna> this guy, I just
<@lasagna> most people like, you know, deliver mail one house after the next
<@lasagna> its not the most complicated logistics at this part of a packages journey
<@lasagna> but the chink, I just dont know
<@lasagna> hell deliver to this entire block by crossing the street repeatedly to get from one house to another across from it while talking on Bluetooth in chinkspeak
<@lasagna> he delivers mail as late as 6pm, which is when my mailman neighbor is getting home at the end of the day
<@lasagna> I once saw him while I was heading out, and handed him an envelope and asked if he can add it to his outgoing
<@lasagna> he looked at me like I had just bombed Hiroshima
#730 + (-4) - [X]
<@Matt> do you think Luke immediately regretted taking the mask off?
<@commy> he took the mask off, and the Paddy McGrossout was making Luke freak out horribly
#729 + (3) - [X]
<@commy> PUKE ALERT
#728 + (9) - [X]
<@Matt> if I could literally fuck money to make more money, I would be at my happiest
#727 + (0) - [X]
<@Matt> how many elephants do you think Peter Jackson poached during the filming of Lord of the Rings?
<@Matt> for the sake of this question, assume that Fran Walsh is not actually an elephant
<@commy> 0
<@commy> assuming that Fran Walsh is actually an elephant, 17
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